Divorce After WLS

After weight loss surgery, you might notice that some of your relationships change. It is definitely a huge transition not just for yourself as the person going through the surgery, but for those around you as well. Your friends and family are so used to you being a certain way, so when that person starts to change, it can definitely change a relationship. One of the biggest relationships that can get affected is with a spouse or partner. 

There are some people that really struggle with their relationships after surgery. I have seen it so many times when relationships start to suffer because their spouse or partner is not making healthy changes with them on this journey. This is a really painful thing to go through and it can make the bariatric patient feel very alone. Food was probably a huge part of your relationship. You probably went out to eat at restaurants a lot and used food as a way to socialize together. I know for me personally, my ex-husband and I both suffered from food addiction and it was a huge transition for us once I had the surgery. We had always spent so much of our time together with food. It was hard for us to find new things to do together and I do not think I really realized how much food was involved in our relationship until it was not there any longer. Yes, there were plenty of times we spent working out and being healthy together, but it was a huge adjustment we had to make when we no longer involved food as much in our relationship. Honestly, I feel like once we took food out of the equation, we really struggled to find things we enjoyed doing together and it pulled us apart in some ways. Luckily in my case, he was always very supportive of me getting healthy. However, there was a lot of pressure there and it definitely was hard to navigate at times. 

Some relationships also struggle with the physical side of this journey. After losing a significant amount of weight, it can sometimes change the way you look at each other. Your partner might be used to your body style before surgery and it could potentially make you feel like the healthy changes you have made in your life do not make them happy. This can be really hard on your confidence because you are feeling stronger and better after surgery, but when you feel like it is not seen or appreciated by your partner, it can cause a lot of damage. Always be true to yourself and be proud of how far you have come. I know it can be so hard when you feel like someone is not happy with your changes, but this is YOUR journey. It is so important that you hold onto that and remember why you decided to have this surgery in the first place.

Having a healthy support system after bariatric surgery is critical for your success. If you constantly have someone in your ear making you feel like you are not good enough, you will not be in a good place. I highly recommend that you bring your partner with you to therapy because this will help you communicate what you need from him/her. They might not realize the damage they are causing you, so it is important that you are transparent and share with them what you need to be successful. At the end of the day, just remember that sometimes things just change. It can be hurtful and really emotional to go through a divorce or breakup after weight loss surgery, but you might find that you just are not compatible any longer. This does not mean that your partner is a bad person or that you have to be completely out of each other’s lives. Remember, you are finding yourself on this journey and it might be that you just feel like you are yourself without that person as your partner. This surgery truly is life changing, so make sure you are ready for all the ups and downs that come with it and do not be scared to find out who you are meant to be in this life.

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